Things I wish my faculty had written, rather than what they actually wrote*

I didn’t like today’s NaBloPoMo prompt, so I’m doin’ my own thing here today.

As part of my job, I have several alerts set up on various legal research databases to let me know when a member of our faculty has published something new and has forgotten to tell me about it. Because I don’t want to miss anything, the searches I’ve set up for these alerts don’t use the faculty members’ full names, with their middle initials. So sometimes I get hits on my alerts for authors that have the same first and last name as one of our faculty members, but who is, alas, not a member of our faculty. The following represent a few hits I’ve gotten on my alerts that, judging solely by their article titles, looked intriguing.

If I were sitting home all day eating bonbons, I’d check ’em out:

  • Edwards, Mark U., Jr. “Rural Society and the Search for Order in Early Modern Germany.” The Historian 53.2 (1991) [Were the early modern Germans not the orderly Germans we think of today?]
  • Edwards, Mark W. “Die Andromache-Szenen der Ilias: Ansatze und Methoden der Homer-Interpretation.” Journal of Hellenic Studies 111 (1991) [I actually have no idea what this says. I just loved Greek Mythology when I was in high school.]
  • Edwards, Mark U., Jr. “Zwingli: An Introduction to His Thought.” The Historian 55.3 (1993) [What/who is/was Zwingli? Wait, don’t tell me. I’m a librarian. I can research this.]
  • Bellingham, James, et al. “Adaptation of pineal expressed teleost exo-rod opsin to non-image forming photoreception through enhanced Meta II decay.” Cellular and Molecular Life Sciences [CMLS] 68.22 (2011) [The first name of one of the co-authors and the last name of another matched one of our faculty members’ names. Also, the who in the what now?]
  • Edwards, Mark U., Jr. “The Jew in Christian Theology: Martin Luther’s Anti-Jewish ‘Vom Schem Hamphoras’, Previously Unpublished in English, and Other Milestones in Church Doctrine Concerning Judaism.” Journal of Church and State Winter 1994 [Yes, yes, there are A LOT of other Mark Edwardses. But, the Journal of Church and State? If that’s not compelling for a law librarian, I don’t know what is!]
  • Edwards, Mark W. “Homer: The Poetry of the Past.” Classical Philology 89.1 (1994) [Wait – I thought philology was stamp-collecting?]
  • Jordan, Rodrigo, Matko Koljatic, and Michael Useem. “How to lead during a crisis: lessons from the rescue of the Chilean miners.” MIT Sloan Management Review 53.1 (2011) [We have a professor named Michael Jordan. This was a hit because these two names showed up in the author field, although not for the same person.]
  • Hogg, James (Scottish writer). “Computerised Environmental Modelling – A Practical Introduction Using Excel.” The Geographical Journal 162.1 (1996) [This one actually doesn’t sound all that interesting to me. But it made me laugh, and really, that’s all I’m looking for when I go through these alerts first thing every morning.]
  • Allen, Ray W. K., et al. “Determination of the physical properties of room temperature ionic liquids using a love wave device.” Analytical Chemistry 83.17 (2011) [Again, co-authors names matched one of our prof’s names. But, more importantly, a love wave device?]
  • Bevan, Michael, et al. “Brachypodium as a model for the grasses: today and the future.” Plant Physiology 157.1 (2011) [“In the future, Johnny, grasses will be brachypodium!”]
  • Edwards, Mark U. Jr. “Jesus in Disneyland: Religion in Postmodern Times.” The Christian Century 118.25 (2001) [I wonder if He hates waiting in long lines, too?]
  • Knapp, Peter, et al. “Can user testing of a clinical trial patient information sheet make it fit-for-purpose? – a randomized controlled trial.” BMC Medicine 9 (2011) [Um – no?]
  • Prince, David A., and Zixiu Xiang. “Cholinergic switching within neocortical inhibitory networks.” Science 281.5379 (1998) [I have no idea what this means.]
  • Jones, Michael W., and Jordan MacKay. “Truckin’.” Texas Monthly July 1998 [An article entitled “Truckin'” in a journal entitled, “Texas Monthly”? Who’da thunk?]

I just wonder if some bioscience or classics librarian has similar alerts set up to catch his/her faculty members’ scholarship, and is wishing they wrote things like: “Acceptable Deviance and Property Rights,” or “The Other Shoe Drops: Minnesota Rejects Daubert,” or “Compensation for Victims of Hazardous Substance Exposure.” If this is you, let me know, and we can swap faculty scholarship for a while.

*I kid, I kid. You know I love your work, law faculty.


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